twilight

A Man Reviews Feminine Things

Ah yes. Here we are again. Me contemplating another text from popular culture as I sip a cool vodka manberry in front of my fireplace, underneath the taxidermy boar head that I mounted this afternoon minutes after I took its life in an arm wrestle.

Tonight I will be reviewing the renowned vampire porn francise Twilight. That’s right. Twilight. Yes. I am a man. And I don’t care if you’re not ok with it.

Ok, I’m going to go on with the review, but I can’t just let this slide. That’s right. somebody has to put a stop to this masculine ridiculousness. And that someone is me. Let’s face it, things perceived as “feminine” are often a lot better than those perceived as “masculine.” There. I said it. The drinks for one. Vodka Cranberry, anyone? That’s right. Every hand in the room just went up. They tasty. The songs. The dances. The clothes. Hmm maybe that’s a bit far.

You know what? No it’s not. Yeah. I’m going to wear a dress tomorrow. I swear it. Mark my words.

Probably not, but that would make a statement, huh? HUH? Yeah. It would.

Anyway, back to the review. Yeah everything about this francise sucks. Hackneyed pun absolutely unintended. I don’t see any humour in this situation. I just spent two weeks of my life immersing myself in this bullshit and what do I have to show for it? HUH? That’s right, nothing.

Anyway, point is, yes you can like feminine things if you are a man. But don’t bother with this whole situation here.

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